Six ways to succeed in college...

Alex Deddeh is a good example of a person for whom high school and its immediate aftermath, a brief stint at a four-year college, didn’t work out the way she planned.  But as you will see in this post, she is also a good example of a person who persevered and grew stronger.  Though she describes high school as a “not-so-fun funhouse chock-full of confusion and frustration,” she faced up to her fears, found a kindred spirit in Holden Caulfield, reached out for help when she needed it, and came out the other side a strong, confident, and exceptionally self-aware person.  I can’t tell you how much admire her.

Alex is in her final year at the University of San Diego, where she is earning a degree in English.  During her time as a Torero she has been a Resident Assistant, Intramural Supervisor, and Writing Center Consultant.  The former captain of the Parker Improv team, she still works at the National Comedy Theatre on India Street as a house staff/voice tech, and recently became part of their Sunday Company.  When not doing improv or tutoring at Grossmont College, she can be found drawing cartoons of her friends (see her Facebook page) or planning her next trip to Disneyland.

In her light and humorous style, Alex writes about some heavy topics.  “When I left for college, I felt like I only got prepped for everything going right,” she said.  “I wanted to write an honest post about how things went wrong, and what I did to get back on track again.”

-  C.H. 

Wearing the red Holden Caulfield hunting cap (2013) ....

Yet another Jeopardy victory (2014) ....

My name is Alex Deddeh. You may remember me from the 2012-2014 Parker Improv team that averaged audiences of up to eleven people. Perhaps you saw my senior editorial in The Scribe, which was so painfully arrogant I cannot read it without cringing. I know many of you are inundated with information and accounts on the “college experience.” Some may have already heard their peers tastefully scream their acceptances across the quad. Others might be crafting their common app essays, wondering which family struggle or personal torment will fit into 650 words. I am entering into my senior year at the University of San Diego. Although I’ll have an English degree that will likely vastly increase my income, I thought, just in case that doesn’t work out, I’ll try my hand at college advising. I hope you find this list helpful, or at least as entertaining as whatever Buzzfeed scraped out of the garbage this week.

6. Transfer from your first school
Ideally, you’ll want to leave your initial college within a month. I stayed at the University of Denver from August to mid-September, a bit long, but I made it back in time for Halloween. I was lucky that a weird roommate (naked in the room for no reason … weird) a horrible class schedule, and little help from administrative/student services gave me the push I needed.

Most people hear the easily digestible, “Alex just didn’t click with Colorado” story. Not so simple. I hid my suffering and let myself wither. I didn’t know what would happen coming home covered in scars with shame on my shoulders. I took heavy, nervous steps back to San Diego, but I knew, finally, they were in the right direction.

5. Attend Community College
I know merely suggesting this has turned some of your parents to stone. Walk around your newly statued mom and dad and enroll. Arrive three hours before class to get a parking spot within a mile radius and avoid the sign spinners tabling by the cafeteria.

Going to Mesa College gave me a chance to recover before trying a four-year again. I took classes with all kinds of people from veterans to parents. Private school students, myself included, can forget how many privileges we have propping us up. Learning to be a more understanding person at Mesa was a lot more useful than letting my hopes decompose in Denver.

4. Change your major
If you want to prove yourself a truly well-adjusted college student, switch your major at least four times. I went from Theatre (bad memory) to English (bad professor) to Psychology (bad at labs) back to English (better attitude).

Fall of my junior year, I became passionate about English again. My poetry professor, Sara Hasselbach, reignited my interest in literature, and former teacher Chris Harrington motivated me to keep writing. It’s okay if you don’t know what you love yet. Choosing majors based on making money usually will make you miserable. Take some time. Find a subject worth the wait.

3. Go to office hours
Some students are hesitant about visiting with their professors after class. When you do go to office hours, three things can happen:

a.  Your professor will help you with difficult material while getting to know you on a personal level
b.  Your professor will talk to you about whatever while getting to know you on a personal level
c.  Your professor will murder and cannibalize you thus getting to know you on a personal level

I happen to strongly agree with this piece of “generic college advice.” Going to office hours allowed me to explain my unique academic challenges or follow up on points made in class. I’ve had conversations with professors about politics, horror films, free speech and cartoons. During an after-class conversation, I discovered my lab teacher liked The Office and Rick and Morty. Adding references to both shows in my report actually got two crucial extra points. Professors usually have a lot more knowledge to share outside of the course material. Make an effort to get to know them.

2. Find a way to treat your mental illnesses. 

“I don’t think I have any disorders.”

-From my last Harrington essay, where I compared myself to two mental patients from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Writing about the mess in my head never gets easier. My stomach turns bitter and my hands clench above the keyboard. I can find the words fine when I speak, but typing about self-hatred polluting my mind or the guilt caked over every memory takes a fight. When I finished junior year at Parker, I had depression, anxiety, and a new manifestation of childhood OCD. I was in the perfect state of mind to pick colleges!  Now, with a strong combination of therapy, medication, and work at a wonderful improv theatre, I can combat the symptoms. The illnesses will never “go away,” but their hold on me has loosened, their effects lessened. Some of you may be melting into your bed, wondering why the world keeps you around. If you’re afraid to find help, at least know you’re not alone. There’s a clumsy, sketchbook-carrying blonde who’s right there with you.

1. Make your own list

Because this one doesn’t matter, does it?

All I want after my degree is to be as good of an English teacher for my students as Chris Harrington and Sara Hasselbach were for me. You probably want something different. Maybe you’d like to take each piece of the “perfect” college experience and snap them easily in place. Maybe you’re simply balancing school while you move around your life’s landmines. Whatever college journey you decide to take, make it your own, and don’t ever let it be qualified by anyone but yourself.