The formidable force of change ...

Meghan Babla graduated in 2013. I was lucky enough to have her in two classes, AP Language and Composition and Honors English 12.  I say ‘lucky’ because she was a top-drawer student with a great attitude who got the absolute most out of her Parker education. Still, though, no amount of academic preparation prepares you for how to deal with the changes that will inevitably occur in your young-adult life.

There are some people whose lives are defined by change. At a young age, they experience turmoil in their family lives, changes in living conditions, unspeakable tragedies. Their lives are so filled with turbulence that it becomes the expectation. Change barely fazes them.

Meghan was just the opposite. Her high school experience was characterized by stability, consistency, sameness, happy routine. She was a top student, but when she trotted off to Berkeley (big change #1) she really hadn’t ventured much beyond what some call the Parker Bubble.

After studying political science at Berkeley, she lived in Washington, D.C. (big change #2) for a year and then recently took a job in New Yor City (big change #3) with NBC Sports as a product manager.

Below she reflects on the daunting nature of big life changes.

“This post is about my relationship with change and how I'm terrible at transitions,” she said. “My hope is that I can provide some reassurance for anyone who is apprehensive about change or whose life is also thrown into a spiral whenever they face a transition.”

- C.H.

I really, really hate change. I hated when my parents said that we needed to get rid of the tree that had lived in the front yard for the entirety of my childhood, because it was starting to rot. I hated when my parents decided to move to a new house, because I loved our old one of 18 years. I cried every night for the first three months of college and I cried almost every day when I moved to Washington D.C. for my first job after college.

It’s not that I don’t like new things! I’m adventurous, I’m curious about the world, and I love new experiences. What I struggle with is wrapping my head around why anyone would ever want to do things differently, when the old way was perfectly fine. And, yes, this is a selfish perspective, because, no, the world does not revolve around me.

Despite my best efforts to avoid change at all costs (keeping a strict routine and an intense commitment to traditions like Sweater Vest Thursdays in high school, see photo above, and Indian Lunch Buffet Fridays in college), I often encounter change. It affects me deeply, forces me to ask existential questions, and often causes me to spiral into deep discomfort and anxiety.

In the middle of these transition periods, I constantly ask myself why I hate change so much. I think it stems from a fear of the unknown and anxiety about adapting to new circumstances. I don’t like change because I worry that I won’t be happy in this strange environment. I fear I won’t be able to succeed and thrive when I don’t know everything about my new surroundings and things are out of my control. That I’ll make the wrong decision. That I’ll fail.

At the same time, I have learned that change is a powerful force, because it pushes you to do things you would never have considered. It’s a force that rips you from your comfort zone and instigates growth. How do I deal with change? Lots of deep breaths, finding the activities that I love, and a relentless commitment to the belief that everything will soon feel normal again. Reminding myself that failure is relative, the coming mistakes are small potatoes in the long run, or seeing the forest for the trees, as my 12th grade AP biology teacher once told me I was really good at doing. Creating routines like when I’m on the train every day ... read newsletters scroll twitter scroll instagram listen to podcast.

In the midst of the dislocations brought by change, I have to remind myself that with massive change comes massive growth. Graduating from Parker with a class of 120 and personalized advising, close relationships with teachers, and a strong support network, to going to UC Berkeley with a class of 7,000 and barely a semblance of advising made me resourceful, taught me to never expect anything to be handed to me, and exposed me to a diverse peer network. Moving to DC without the rest of my tight-knit friend group gave me a sense of independence, confidence in myself, and freed me from the mold of my college identity. So now in the midst of yet another transition to New York City, every night I firmly tell myself, NO MORE MOVES.

But I know that another transition is inevitable, and I will be stronger because of it. I know I will come to love it, much like how I fell in love with DC. It is difficult to prepare for the change that comes after leaving high school. Many factors in your life will soon be out of your control, and if you are like me, that is a scary prospect. And it will be uncomfortable, but you will also find a part of yourself you never knew existed. New circumstances and new environments will propel you to make new decisions, to see things from a new perspective. And then there will be a moment in your new life when you can look back at your high school years and be legitimately proud of the person you are starting to become -- only made possible by the formidable force of change.