Confessions of a floater ...
A lot of the posts on the 650 blog make the case for embracing your true self. It’s great advice, but practically speaking it can be a real challenge. How is it possible to “fit in” and “be yourself” at the same time? The term “fitting in” implies that you would make yourself into the shape of the thing that fits -- which in this context would mean emphasizing and deemphasizing specific parts of your personality in different social settings with different people. This is common, natural, and mostly normal, in high school and everywhere else. The problem comes when the desire to fit in becomes your North Star -- and you look in the mirror and nobody looks back … because you are playing a role for everyone.
Louisa writes here about how being a floater can allow you to do an end-run around this need to fit in. Rather than worrying about being accepted by this or that group -- in high school and beyond -- she bounced from group to group, keeping a light step and insisting on herself always.
Louisa graduated from the University of Colorado at Boulder with a Journalism degree in 2012. Post grad, she moved to LA to pursue a media career. Linkedin helped her break into the SEO side of the digital marketing industry, which provided the foundation for her career path. For the past five years, enterprise news SEO strategy has been her specialty. She has worked with E!, Yahoo!, TMZ, People Magazine, Entertainment Weekly, and the Los Angeles Times, where she is currently SEO editor. “If I told my 13-year-old self what I’m doing now,” she said, “she would be so excited!”
Louisa writes here about the virtues of floating. “A famous quote from the 80s classic The Breakfast Club says: ‘Each one of us is a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal,’” she said. “This essay is a love letter to the kids that didn’t fit into a particular clique in high school.”
- C.H.
I’ve always been weird. Given the name “Louisa,” I think I stuck out naturally. Early on, I knew that I didn’t fit in with the crowd. I had big teeth and an exaggerated cross-eye. My voice was (and still is) abnormally loud. My favorite movie characters are Ace Ventura and Beetlejuice. Pretty and perfect has never appealed to me. I’ve always been drawn to people who are a little...different. With this mentality, I never fit into cliques. Thus, I became a “floater” in my social life.
When I was younger, I wanted to fit in. Badly. But no matter what I did, I always existed outside of the designated social groups. Close enough to smile at the popular kids in the hall. Separate enough that I didn’t get invited to the best social events. Different enough that I knew the things the upper echelon said behind my back weren’t always nice. During adolescence, I really struggled with my identity at school. Once I got to high school and secured my self-confidence, I realized the power that lies in being a “floater.”
When you’re a “floater,” you don’t have to look perfectly pristine all the time. You don’t have to answer to anyone else with your behavior. I’ve never once felt like I couldn’t be nice to someone in fear of not looking “cool.” The definition of “cool” is somewhat subjective, anyway. I stand by how one of my favorite musicians Prince defined it: “Cool means being able to hang with yourself. All you have to ask yourself is ‘Is there anybody I’m afraid of? Is there anybody who if I walked into a room and saw, I’d get nervous?’ If not, then you’re cool.” The power lies in you. When you eliminate superficial social status from your hierarchy of priorities, life gets a lot more fun.
Personally and professionally, I’ve grown a lot since graduating high school in 2008. But, I’ve always maintained my “floater” persona. I floated through my Tri Delta sorority, never succumbing to catty behavior. I’ve built a successful career in the news world, which can be very cutthroat. Every work environment I’ve been in has mirrored my high school experience. There are cliques that I know I’ll never fit into. I see “mean girls” putting down other people to build themselves up. The difference is now I’m confident about my unique place within that social system. My “floater” mentality of ‘be nice to everyone’ has served me well.
Social media has made the “floater” life more tricky. It’s tough to feel fabulous outside of the popular bubble when the “perfect” parts of it are constantly flashing on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. This is especially difficult for middle school and high school “floaters” who haven’t grown into their confidence yet. For “floaters” of all ages, there is a paramount principle: you are not defined by the amount of likes you get on a post. Have fun with social media. Use it to connect with other people who share your unique interests. Likes aside, never forget that self love matters much more than what other people think about you.
The “floater” life has its ups and downs. In middle school and high school, it can feel like you stick out in a bad way. It can get lonely on the perimeter of the social scene. I’m here to tell you that it will get better. You’ll be pleasantly surprised to find other people who view life through an alternative lens. Take comfort in knowing that you’re never actually alone. You can create meaningful relationships, but you might have to go about it in a slightly different way. There will be an oddball nearby who wants to hear about that Queen song from 1979 that no one in your class cares about. Speak up. Be you. Be bold. Float on.
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